Explaining the Higgs boson discovery on the Up-Goer Five Text Editor

The Up-Goer Five Text Editor will check every word you type and make sure it is part of the 10,000 most common words used. It’s fun and frustrating to play with.

I took a crack at explaining the Higgs boson discovery in it. It’s very difficult when you can’t use words like “mass”, “energy”, “particle” or “interaction”. So what do you think? Does it make sense?

We think we found the smallest bits that make the world we live in. Matter can be broken down no further. These bits have four different ways of playing with each other. Let’s call these games. One of these games is not our focus because bits start playing it only when they are in very large numbers. We are interested in the games one bit can play with only a few others bits. We only know of three of those games. It turns out two games out of these three are one and the same, but they don’t appear that way in every day life.

The games are pretty much just the smallest bits of matter throwing other bits at each other. The bits being thrown around are different from the bits doing the throwing. The bits being thrown should all be very easy to push around if the two games we are talking about are to appear the same. But we know they don’t appear to be the same. So what’s going on? Maybe there is a field  that is all over the place that makes it hard for bits to move through. The field would make it harder to throw some kinds of bits around, but only some kinds. There are four kinds of bits that make our two games. Maybe only three of them feel the field. The one bit that wouldn’t feel it would appear to play its own game, while the other three would appear to play a different game.

It is possible to kick a field so hard that bits of it come off. We have been trying to kick the field for years just to know if the field is there at all. Last year, we finally managed to see some bits of it coming off, leading us to believe that the field is really there. This also means that the two games we were talking about really are the same. The field can also make all the kinds of small bits of matter harder to push around. We are checking this right now.

Here’s the text in the actual editor, so that you can check that I haven’t cheated 🙂

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